Barn yard, Gardening, Homelife, Uncategorized

Not a quitter

Life is busy for most of us.  Especially those with small children.  We run from this thing to that, to work, and back home again.  And for my family, we thought it would be a smart idea to add in extra stuff like a massive garden, livestock, acres to maintain, a poultry assortment, a home that needs some minor renovation, and starting a small business or two from the ground up.

Life is busy to say the least.  And stressful.  And sometimes it all creeps up on me and I have to let off some steam and the poor soul who bares most of that brunt is my husband.  He is a saint.  There have been some occasions where other people have seen me at my worst and those are just not my proudest moments.  Lets just say my mom and my mother in law are both wonderful woman who must love me A LOT.

So in these moments of compounding stress, in letting the chaos get the best of me I keep hearing myself and others say things like “you take on too much”  “you shouldn’t do so much” “simplify”  “do you really need to raise your own turkey?”

And while the thought of getting rid of some of these things does put my mind at ease a bit, there is another feeling that creeps up when I think about lightening my load.  And that feeling is unfulfilled.  Because the real reason I have such a full plate is because I want to.  Because each of the things I am stressing about brings me more joy than stress.  And at the end of a very long and hard day I rest well.

I am not a quitter.  I am stubborn and hard headed and I don’t know how to slow down.  Its not in my blood.  I like doing things the hard way if that means doing them the right way.  I like knowing that I am working my tail off for the bigger picture.  I like knowing that my family will be fed well and nurtured.  And someday I will look back on this time in my life and think about how many riches I have gained along the way.  No I am not expecting to get rich farming.  I’m not quite that delusional. Right?

The riches I’m talking about are the callouses on my hands that remind me of how hard I’ve worked, the dirt under my kids fingernails, the stories my family will tell, the memories we will share, the food we will eat, the life we will live.  And working for that, makes all the stresses and busyness of this season in life worth it.

I’m not a quitter.  And I like it that way.

 

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